{"id":8790,"date":"2024-10-29T19:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-10-29T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/?p=8790"},"modified":"2024-11-06T11:33:55","modified_gmt":"2024-11-06T08:33:55","slug":"effective-parenting-and-teen-management","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/?p=8790","title":{"rendered":"Effective Parenting and Teen Management"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Effective Parenting and Teen Management<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

by Gladness <\/strong>Temu<\/strong> (PhD)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Purposeful Parenting Coach & Author; Lecturer & Researcher (UDOM)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n


A. Uncovering some\u00a0myths about parenting<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Parenting is about children<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022No, its about you parent (parent-<\/strong>ing<\/strong> not child-<\/strong>ing<\/strong>)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Parenting has no <\/strong>curriculum\/format\/system\/structure\/strategies<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022No, it has-<\/strong>Prov<\/strong> 22:6; Judges 2:20; <\/strong>Eph<\/strong> 6:1-4; 1Sam, <\/strong>Kol<\/strong>, <\/strong>Prov<\/strong>, Matt, Luke <\/strong>etc<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Parenting is not something to learn<\/strong>, it\u2019s natural\/intuition <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Not true. nothing can be done well without learning, so as parenting<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Our parents did not learn <\/strong>about parenting, why me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022They did, even if not, the current dynamics are different<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. You should parent a child anyhow you feel <\/strong>appropriate<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022No, there is a blueprint for every child <\/strong>(infact there are systems, strategies, skills, structures to put in place)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Even without learning parenting a child will grow to an adult<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Yes, its true-but to what kind of an adult? (<\/strong>matunzo<\/strong> vs <\/strong>malezi<\/strong>)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Parenting teenagers is difficult<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Not true, in fact its so easy, loving and rewarding<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Raising children who can thrive in this era (even before and after) depends on 3 things<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022The person who is raising that child<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022What does that person know about parenting<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022The environment<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Do you have the necessary skills to raising your child properly and effectively? (the S\u2019s<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parent\u2019s roles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022A trainer, leader, guider, trainer, mentor, supporter, encourager, provider, role model<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Train up a child=teach, equip, educate, discipline, develop, instruct, improve, cultivate, hone, reskill, sharpen, drill, enlighten, inculcate, coach<\/strong> etc<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Effective parenting requires 4S\u2019s<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Systems<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Structures<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Strategies<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Skills<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Matthew 7: 24-27; Isaiah 33:6: Knowledge, Wisdom and Understanding<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022B: Parenting systems, structures, strategies, skills (4S\u2019s)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

System:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Intentionality is key , founded on God\u2019s word (Deut<\/strong> 6:6-9<\/strong>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Marriage-Family-Children<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Even for single parents; Intend to raise kids who can thrive<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022God is intentional about everything, Be intentional<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Embrace intentional \/purposeful parenting as a system<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is raising a child intentionally\/purposeful parenting?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Understanding your position\/role as a servant of God in raising that child to an adult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022The goal is \u2018to raise Mtu bora atakayeweza kuliishi kusudila kuzaliwa kwake hapa duniani\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Thus, parent\u2019s self-awareness, <\/strong>Prov<\/strong> 22:6=train up a child and the 4S\u2019s<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Structures<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022A family with structures that can support effective parenting<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(a) Create your family culture, built on values<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Identify your family core values (not rules\/do\u2019s & don\u2019ts)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Create your family vision, mission and strategies<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Isaih 46:10; Prov 16:1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(b) Create your family media plan & screen policy<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Do you have a family media plan?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Who are you raising, social media savy or technology savy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Do you want to \u2018manage\u2019 your teen?-this is key<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022What is your screen policy?(TV, phones, laptops, tablets\u2026..)-as a family, not only for kids-remember to live your values<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Never give kids any kind of screen without training\/miongozo<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A family without media plan is\/has:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Disconnected\/poor social r\u2019ship<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Family values distorted (too much\/harmful info-content)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Anxiety (esp children)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Unmotivated children\/lazy\/procrastinators (too much screen time, chats, lots of apps, social media savy)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Quarrels<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Behavioral challenges including anger issues\/resentments<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Embrace intentionality in FMP:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Defined time and content<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Watch together<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Encourage more of tech savy than social media savy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Replace screen time with physical games, puzzles, building blocks, bicycles, story telling, reading together, drawing, painting,  home chores, sleeping\/nap, walking, shopping, etc<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Structures cont..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(c) Cementing your family unity<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022From int.marriage to int.family to int. parenting<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022How?-Quality time. <\/strong>\u2018Busy\u2019 is a myth-embraceessentialism\/prioritization<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Sing together, dance, play games, swimming do puzzles together, have fun, outings, vacation<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Connect to correct <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Master your emotions (EI)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022\u00a0<\/strong>[Prov\u00a015:28; 17:27;(EI)\u00a0\u00a018:13-empathetic listening\/eff\u00a0communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(d) Family meetings (FM)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Scheduled<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Put everyone on the same page<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Meeting agenda and documentation<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Re-share your values<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022FM create an avenue for open communication<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Don\u2019t use FM for discipline issues (eg.kuonya, kugomba)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(e) Creating your parenting goals & plans<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Know who you are raising<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Which parenting S\u2019s are you going to apply<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022How will you discipline your children<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Boarding school vs not<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Relatives, caretakers or not<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022How do you want to connect with your children?-create that environ<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022(for a peaceful parenting  skills with parental authority-read, attend seminars, find parent coach)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022C. Strategies to raising teens who can thrive<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022With all the background, now here you are; only some few things to add<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.No where in the Bible about children defiance at age13-19 (or any other age)-it\u2019s a myth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.Understand your child-who are you parenting?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.Be available and valuable<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Connect to correct<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022TEEN MANAGEMENT<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Literally, there is no \u2018teen management\u2019! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.Understand the teenage dynamics<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.Have a proper family structure <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.Connect to correct<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.Set health boundaries<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5.Communication skills-effective, empathetic with love & honor<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6.Exercising effective parenting authority-Eph 6:1-4; Col 3:21; 1 Sam (Eli)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7.Build trust, Be consistent\/predictable <\/p>\n\n\n\n

8.Parenting with humility as servants of God  (stewardship, avoid parental ego)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u25cf<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Navigating through teeange parenting depends so much on how you have been raising them from the younger age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022However, don\u2019t raise teens like toddlers (yelling, whipping, shouting, flogging)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Don\u2019t raise teens like adults either (they are not)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Ingia kwenye ulimwengu wao na ujifunze-the good thing is everyone of us was once there!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Understanding your teens and seeing them unfolding and becoming adults is something so rewarding; However;<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make sure you remain connected through out the process!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. G on #purposeful parenting<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LASTLY but not least;<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022PRAYERS! PRAYERS! PRAYERS!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Not only praying for them but most important; teaching them how to pray.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022Introduce them to Christ early; and encourage Holy Spirit <\/strong>explo in their lives + Reading\/Meditating and Implementing the Word of God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you & God bless you!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Effective Parenting and Teen Management by Gladness Temu (PhD) Purposeful Parenting Coach & Author; Lecturer & Researcher (UDOM) A. Uncovering some\u00a0myths about parenting 1. Parenting is about children \u2022No, its about you parent…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8791,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[149,20,23],"tags":[25,28,29,33,354,42],"class_list":["post-8790","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-blog","category-blog","category-ministries","tag-blog","tag-christian-living","tag-church","tag-faith","tag-family-week","tag-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/image.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8790","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8790"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8790\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8792,"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8790\/revisions\/8792"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8791"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8790"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8790"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dpc.or.tz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8790"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}